


Puppies

by LinksLipsSinkShips



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: But also human POV, M/M, Not puppy play, POV Multiple, Puppies, dog POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:34:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24424345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinksLipsSinkShips/pseuds/LinksLipsSinkShips
Summary: Barbara is desperate for her men to have puppies. They sure do sound like they're trying a lot. But master never smells like he's going to have puppies, and she's not really sure what to make of what they're doing.
Relationships: Barbara McLaughlin & Jade Neal, Rhett McLaughlin/Link Neal
Comments: 10
Kudos: 51
Collections: Good Mythical Self-Isolation





	Puppies

I can hear it again. They’re grunting and making that strange noise, one mounted on the other like they’re trying to breed each other. Jade is, of course, asleep. She never seems fazed by it, by the strange thing that happens every night, or sometimes in the mornings, and often in the middle of the day. She always just sleeps, or wanders, or ignores them altogether. But I can’t do that. I have to investigate. I jump up on the bed and sniff at them.

I’ve never understood it. Every day, I paw around at his stomach, and I don’t understand. He doesn’t  _ smell  _ like he’s going to have puppies. He doesn’t look like it, either. His tummy doesn’t swell, and it doesn’t move like puppies are inside, and he doesn’t seem to have the heaviness that I have right now. That’s what I don’t understand. They breed and breed and breed, and there are never any puppies. Or, at least that’s what I think they’re doing. They  _ look  _ like they’re trying to have puppies.

“Jade?” I growl. “Do you think they’ll have puppies?”

“No.” There’s no further explanation. Jade isn’t exactly the talkative type. Not like I am. If I didn’t know any better, I would think she was a cat. Except she smells very much like a dog, and she looks like a dog, and anyway, my master hates cats, and he seems to be just fine with Jade most of the time.

I think the most confusing part of all of this is that I feel like my master and his man should have puppies. Puppies, I think, would be very fun to play with. At the dog park, I see other families with puppies, men and their smaller ones in tow, and the puppies always play with the dogs. They have fun toys, like discs that go flying, or balls, or sticks. They play fetch and run and chase, and all of those are fun things.

But my master and his man never have puppies. Instead, they climb on each other as if they will, and then there are still no puppies. It’s quite the disappointment, actually.

* * *

Barbara is insane. She’s set on them having puppies. Of course they aren’t. I don’t think she realizes—and perhaps it’s because her head is full of marbles—that sometimes boys just do this for fun. They don’t have to make puppies to like mounting. I’m very sure they enjoy it, also. Sometimes they sound angry, but I think they’re just having fun. Kind of like when Barbara and I growl at each other, or try to steal the ball from each other, but we’re actually just having fun. They’re enjoying it. Isn’t that okay, for them to do something they enjoy?

That, or she’s just being weird because  _ she’s  _ having puppies. Which is so ridiculous anyway. Barbara? A mother? She’s too stuck-up, too boring for puppies. And too crazy. Her boy thinks she is the smartest, most beautiful, most funny dog on the planet, and she’s not. She’s a marble-head. And they picked  _ her  _ genes to pass on.

I wonder when she’ll learn that our boys can’t have puppies. Or maybe they can and don’t want to. I don’t know how it works. I just know they get on top of each other a lot, and they try and try, and after a while I stopped thinking puppies might come. They won’t. They growl and play. It’s just for fun.

* * *

Link, draped over my back, thrusting into me is always a treat. Like that, I can be completely focused on us both getting pleasure, hand wrapped around my shaft and thumb teasing over the head as I rock back against him. And yes, we are loud. I’m a loud man sometimes, and he’s not exactly quiet.

Feeling him in me, feeling him thrust deeper, everything works for me, his hands grazing down my sides, lips tickling my back as he kisses along my spine, moving to grab my hips instead and thrust deeper.

I can feel him coming before he even said “Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum.” I know he’s going to before he says it, before he fills me, my head thrown back as he tugs at my hair, nudging against my prostate again and again as I spill onto the bed sheets, rolling over onto my back as soon as he pulls out.

“We’re gonna have to wash the sheets again,” I tell him. Link is obsessive over not sleeping on cum-stained bed sheets to the point that half the time, we lay down a towel before we progress into certain aspects of our sex life. But this time, we hadn’t bothered. Who wants to  _ stop  _ in the middle just to cover the bed? Not me. Not this time. As I lay back, letting my head hang off of the side of the bed, Barbara pops up, pawing at my hair and licking at me.

“You ever wonder what goes through their heads when we make love?” Link asks, laying down beside me and hanging his head off of the bed just like I did.

“Like what? You think they even notice?”

“They definitely notice. Babs comes and paws at you every time after,” Link laughs.

“You think she’s asking where our puppies are? Is that what you’re suggesting?”

Link laughs harder. “Yeah, Rhett. Sure. She thinks we’re gonna have puppies.”

* * *

“Get the towels.” My master is talking to his man, and his man is doing as he says. It must be time, because they’re very, very excited and my body feels very strange. I’m not sure how to even describe it. Just… strange. Painful maybe. I must have cried without realizing, because my master keeps rubbing my belly gently, telling me it’s okay, and that I’ll be okay, that the puppies will come soon.

I still don’t understand where  _ their  _ puppies are, but I can’t really think about that when my body hurts strangely. I look at my master, and he’s very reassuring, and then his man is getting towels, placing them around me and handing them to him. I can tell my puppies will be here soon.

* * *

I know Barbara is a marble-head, but I’m still not pleased with my boy. He won’t let me in to see her! I’ve been pawing at the door, scratching at it and whining to come in. I can hear Barbara crying, and this isn’t fair. I’d yell if I could, but barking isn’t getting their attention. All of their focus is on her. And mine would be too, if they’d let me in. I hope her puppies are safe. I hope  _ she  _ is safe.

* * *

Seeing my puppies is a very beautiful thing. When master lifts my puppy up, he dries her off and passes her to his man. “Look! We have puppies!” The squeal in his voice says he’s very happy, and as the other puppy comes out, he says it again. “We have puppies!” Maybe that is what a dog is here for after all, to give my men puppies. Because really, they keep trying and they’re no good at it. As many times as they have been on top of each other, growling like they want to make puppies, they’ve never had any. Now I have a whole family of puppies, and they’re happy.

“You wanna see Jade?” His man asks. I whimper. More than anything, I want to see Jade and tell her the happy news. I’d given my men puppies. Now all that’s missing is a trip to the dog park and a big disc I can catch with my mouth. I feel like the most special, most loved, most happy dog in the whole entire world.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry not sorry


End file.
